


In Daydreams

by SecondStarOnTheLeft



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-24
Updated: 2012-01-24
Packaged: 2017-10-30 01:45:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/326393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecondStarOnTheLeft/pseuds/SecondStarOnTheLeft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's something everyone's asked him about, and something he doesn't share. The Doctor reflects on what was, what is, and what might have been. Implied TenRose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Daydreams

" _What do you see in daydreams, Doctor?"_

So many had asked him that. Rose. Martha. Donna. Jack.

_Her._

Rose had been the first thing in centuries that had made him forget  _her_  and  _them_  for even just a little while. In some ways, he adored her for it. In others, he despised her.

His memories of  _her_ and  _them_  were all he had left.

Martha had helped in some little way, too, by reminding him that he should live more. Have more fun. He wasn't sure how she'd done it, but her gung-ho attitude had made him realise how ashamed  _she_  would have been of his brooding.

_She_ had always been the brighter one, though.

Donna… Ah, Donna. She'd simply bullied him into focusing on other things.

_She_ would have approved.

But in the times in between, when it was just him and the TARDIS and his vast, far-reaching memory and the infinite stores of guilt deep within him, somewhere behind his hearts, he daydreamed.

If that was what you called it. He didn't think that there was a word in English for a waking nightmare.

He could see it all, of course. Remember it perfectly. Remember the fires, the high-pitched wails, the desperate attempts to save  _them_ , to rescue  _her_.

The failure. The horrible, aching failure that had spurred him to commit what had saved the universe and earned him a dark reputation.

If  _she_ had been spared, if  _they_ had lived, the Time Lords would have survived.

But that was not to be.

They were gone.

He was alone.

His daydreams were not to be shared or ignored.

Rose's smile had helped push them aside for a while, though.


End file.
